While having an orgasm shouldn’t be the only reason to have sex, for many it’s at the top of the list. Sometimes you’d rather just have your partner climax and aren’t as worried about yourself. Either way, the ability to have an orgasm is one of the most desired and misunderstood experiences that exist. Why? Because we tend to believe that an orgasm is all about the genitals when it actually has even more to do with the rest of the body, including the brain. Read on to learn what will move many people from being aroused to reaching an orgasm.
Hit the right spots.
You might be better able to have an orgasm during intercourse with a friction position. For example, get on top of your partner and make sure the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on the pubic bone of your partner. Alternately, lay on your back with a pillow under your butt.
“Men really want direction,” says Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. Let your partner know how they’re doing by telling them what feels amazing or by moaning.
You can’t communicate effectively in bed if you don’t know what turns you on. Train your body to be orgasmic by masturbating, according to Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach.
Locate the muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Exercise and tone them by clenching when you’re not urinating. Do kegels each day, a few times a day, ideally. Don’t forget to breathe while you’re squeezing.
“The longer the arousal build up, the bigger the explosion,” says sex educator Dorian Solot. As you get close to having an orgasm, slow down. Repeat this a few times before you climax.
Find some arousing and tasteful erotica to explore together. The more aroused you are, the greater your orgasm chances.
A recent study conducted in France of more than 500 women showed that more than 70 percent said stress at work compromised their sex drive. The chances of having an orgasm are obviously lower when your libido is low. Try your best to keep life’s distractions outside of the bedroom.