Steps for Introducing ‘Sexual Aids’ in Your Relationship

Steps for Introducing 'Sexual Aids' in Your Relationship

There are a lot of different ways for you and your partner to enhance sexual enjoyment. Some couples prefer to use what is often referred to as a “sexual aid”. Sure, sex toys such as dildos and vibrators probably come to mind, but the term includes a lot more than that. A sexual aid is anything that will either create or increase sexual stimulation or pleasure. This can mean special clothing, lubricants, sex toys, erotica, restraints for bondage, and more. Read on to learn how you can incorporate sexual aids into your sex life.

Choose What You Want
Be sure to take some time to consider what you want to add to the bedroom. Include your partner in the decision-making, especially if you’re going to be using it with them. Keep in mind that it’s OK to choose something that either of you are open to trying, but might not be sure about. You won’t know until you try.

Be Free of Expectations
You’ll only set yourself and your partner up for disappointment if you anticipate that adding something new to your sexual routine will have a certain result. Keep an open mind going into the experience.

Try it Out On Your Own
There are some exceptions, but most sexual aids can be used while you’re masturbating, so you can try them out on your own first. Trying it out yourself may increase your chances of success when you introduce it to your partner.

Experiment
Find out the variety of things you can do with your sexual aid and be creative, using your entire body, if possible. Allow yourself plenty of time to discover a few ways to make use of your new toy or other aid.

Share
Share your knowledge with your partner. If you want to incorporate this new sexual aid into sex, let you partner see how you’ve been using it to pleasure yourself. Invite your partner to explore on their own and then show you what they have learned.

Explore
Now is the time to try it out with your partner. Have fun playing and discovering ways you can use your new sexuall aid during sex. This might involve new activities or positions that you haven’t ever tried, depending on what you’re using.

Communicate
Be sure to express how your prefer that the two of you use your sexual aid and encourage your partner to communicate this, as well. Enjoy!

 

5 Myths about Anal Sex

5 Myths about Anal Sex

Are you new to anal sex? Have you been thinking about trying, but find yourself scared due to the unknown? There are a lot of myths about anal sex that are out there and you may feel better seeing some of them debunked. Read on to learn five anal sex myths and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 – It Must be Painful

Anal sex should not be painful as long as you use lubrication, relax, take it slow and do not have hemorrhoids. You have to be gentle — especially in the beginning — because the anus is much tighter than the vagina. Take it slow and warm up. The chances are good that you haven’t followed the above instructions completely if you have experienced some pain in the past or have heard horror stories from friends.

Myth #2 – It Can’t Feel Good Because Women Don’t Have a Prostate

Pleasure during anal sex involves way more than a prostate, says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., assistant clinical professor at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. “The anus is rich in blood vessels and nerves and thus highly sensitive, making anal play popular and erotic for some women.” Actually, one study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that 94 percent of women who received anal in their last sexual encounter had an orgasm.

Myth #3 – You Do Not Need a Condom

The chance that there is nearly no chance of pregnancy with anal sex makes it that much more pleasurable for many women. But it does carry a risk of STD transmission, so you need a condom. Also, condoms can not only prevent STD transmission they also reduce friction and make for a more smooth entry. Be sure to change condoms before switching from either vaginal to anal or anal to vaginal sex.

Myth #4 – It Will Literally Be Dirty

While it is possible to get feces particles on his penis or letting loose, it is highly unlikely. “Most waste is sitting in the lower intestine where a finger, sex toy, or penis is not going to reach,” says sex therapist Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. Your rectum only contains small fragments of feces. If you’re worried about getting anything dirty, wash your anus with mild soap and water and/or empty your bowels before having sex. This is another way a condom is useful as well.

Myth #5 – Your Butt Hole Will Stretch Out

Just because you receive anal sex does not mean you’re going to end up with a penis-sized hole. “Tissue is elastic, and the anal sphincter muscles are tightly toned, so unless you are receiving ‘larger than life toys,’ this shouldn’t pose a problem,” explains Dweck. “In fact, please ensure all toys have an easy ‘retrieval’ mechanism, like a string or base. You don’t want to lose toys inside.” It is that tight, which is one reason it feels so great for men to give it.

 

8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

Maybe you have a good routine going on with your vibrator already. However, doing the same thing time and time again can get old. “It can become routine…and then monotony sets in,” says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D. This can also put you in danger of only being able to climax when you use a vibrator. Here are a few new ways to use your vibrator:

Avoid Your Clitoris…at First
At least do this at first. “Many women have discovered that they find indirect clitoral stimulation to the side or above the clitoris even more arousing,” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D. Run your vibrator up your labia and circle your clit without touching it. Then, when you can no longer take it, go for it.

Use it On Your Neck
Take advantage of the erogenous zone that is your neck. While you’re on your bed in a comfortable position, close your eyes and lightly rub the vibrator up and down one side of your neck before going to the other side. Once you’re turned on enough, work the vibrator more south.

Be a Tease
Let your partner take your vibrator and slowly run it up and down your thighs and coming close to the clitoris, yet not touching it.

Use it When He’s There
You can use your vibrator on yourself when your partner is there, too. While you’re making out, press your vibrator up against his perineum to get things started before using it on yourself. You may also want to have your guy use it on you while you get him off.

Hand it to Him
This is a little bit of light BDSM. Have your man tie you up loosely and let him use the vibe on you any way he pleases. “There’s something exciting about not having control,” says Laino.

Prop Yourself Up
While you’re lying down in bed, put some pillows underneath your butt to prop yourself up. Run your vibrator back and forth across your nipples while your guy is giving you oral sex.

A Different Kind of Doggy Style
While you’re lying flat on your stomach, slip a clitoral vibrator underneath you and have him penetrate you from behind. This doesn’t require much effort from you, so just lay there and enjoy it.

Get a Couples Vibrator
Purchase a couple’s vibrator so you can both be stimulated at once. “Couple-oriented penis rings are a great option to make sure you get this stimulation hands-free and he gets to enjoy the sensation as well,” says van Kirk.

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger Than Average

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger than Average

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, just like many other body parts. Some women may consider an over-sized penis to be exciting, while others are intimidated, wondering how it will fit. Having sex with a penis that is above average (an average erect penis is 5.6 inches) can be painful for some, create stress and anxiety, and possibly cause vaginal tearing, according to certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. A vagina can usually accommodate a larger penis, but you have to be more careful. Here are some ways to proceed if your partner is large:

Acknowledge That It’s Big

You don’t have to make it a significant issue because your man might be embarrassed if he’s sensitive about his size, but being honest and upfront is a good idea. Acknowledge that his penis is large, suggest you take it slow, and then proceed.

Make Sure You Set the Pace

It’s not easy to know how your vagina is going to handle the size of his penis, so it’s necessary for you to set the pace. “Until you get used to the sensation and know how your body will respond to his larger penis, take it slow,” advises Van Kirk.

Use Enough Lubrication

The chances are good that you’ll need it, so be willing to have it on hand and apply more as needed. It’s better to use a thicker lube in this situation so that it won’t absorb as quickly.

Try Out Side-by-Side Sex

This can make it possible for you to help control the rhythm in this position and be able to hold his penis, insert it, and have control of it like a sex toy. So, if he’s getting a little too deep, you can increase the amount of length that you’re holding and less will be going into you.

Try Woman on Top

Any move that will allow you to take the lead and have him remain still are ideal, says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D.

Avoid Doing it Doggy Style

If he has a penis that is long, positions such as doggy style can lead to deeper penetration. This deep penetration can cause his penis to hit your cervix, which may not feel great for you (it does for some women). If you’re into doing it from behind, try the reverse cowgirl position instead, so you still have control of the rhythm.

Have Realistic Expectations

The chances are good that you assume having sex with a large guy will lead to outstanding orgasms, but that’s not necessarily true. “Sometimes men with big penises think that’s all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn’t guarantee more orgasms,” says Kerner.

 

4 Exercises to Improve a Woman’s Sex Life

4 Exercises to Improve a Woman's Sex Life

Did you know that you may be a workout away from an improved sex life? Exercise can of course help you lose weight but also sculpt your body, cause your endorphins to rise, and help you have a better time in the bedroom. Read on to learn about some stretches and exercises you can do to enhance your sex life.

Squats

These are excellent for toning and shaping the buttocks and legs. Doing a lot of pumping below the waist can also increase your ability to become aroused during sex. Squats also prepare and strengthen you for the times you want to be on top. Just stand upright with your feet apart about a shoulder-width’s length. Be sure to keep your heels on the floor and most of your weight in them as you start a bend at the waist first and then bend the knees as if you’re sitting into a chair. Keep your knees right over the ankles to protect your leg muscles and knees from injury. Make sure your shins are as vertical as possible while you’re doing this exercise.

Pelvic Tilt Pulses

This strengthens your lower back and your core, which are both often used during sex. Lie on the floor with your knees bent and your feet hip distance apart. Make sure your hands are flat on the floor, including your fingertips. Pressing through your heels, lift up your pelvis and glutes to make sure your torso is in a straight line. Keep your abs tight as you continue to press through the heels. Squeeze your inner thighs and glutes and pulse the pelvis up and down, slightly, a couple of inches only. Do your pulses (20-25) and slowly lower your spine, vertebra by vertebra until your tailbone has touched the floor. Do about three more sets.

Kegels

This exercise is an easy way to improve the strength of the pelvic floor muscles, which play an important part in orgasm. You can do kegels anywhere and either lying down, sitting, or standing. Pretend that you are trying to stop the flow of urine, hold it for three to five seconds and then repeat. Do kegels throughout the day, or even just five minutes a day.

Upward-Facing Dog

This exercise strengthens a lot of the muscle groups that are required by many sex positions. Yogis have long believed the upward dog to increase blood flow and energy to the pelvic region. Lie on your stomach with your legs apart, hip-distance, and the tops of your feet touching the floor. Move your hands to the sides of your chest and pressing through the hands, lift your torso. Lifting up all the way, roll your shoulders back and down, making sure not to hunch your shoulders into your neck by lengthening through the crown of your head. Breathe regularly for approximately 15 seconds or more.

 

6 Foods to Boost Your Libido

6 Foods to Boost Your Libido

If you’re looking to have a romantic dinner with your partner, you may want to consider more than just soft music and lighting. There are actually some healthy foods that affect brain chemistry, hormone levels, and energy, which increases sex drive and arousal. Read on to learn about some foods you’ll want to add to your grocery list.

Chocolate

This might not come as a surprise to you. Chocolate has been linked with sex and love for a long time because it contains tryptophan. Tryptophan helps the body make serotonin, which is a natural feel-good chemical that might play a part in sexual arousal. This sweet also has some phenylethylamine, which is a stimulant that is thought to contribute to feelings of love.

Chile Peppers

These peppers can spice up more than just your meal. This is due to capsaicin, which is a chemical that has been shown to induce endorphin release in the brain, creating euphoric feelings.

Avocados

Avocados can give you both a healthy libido and energy, which are necessary for great sex. They are packed with monounsaturated fats (good fats), minerals, and vitamin B6, which all help keep your libido and energy up. Avocados are also a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are natural mood-boosters.

Oysters

It’s not the taste or slippery texture that make oysters a sexy food — it’s their zinc content. They’re loaded with the mineral, which helps the body make testosterone. Testosterone is necessary for regulating the sexual function and libido of both men and women. Zinc may help a woman’s ovaries stay healthy and help her stay ready for action in the bedroom.

Licorice

This sweet candy is thought to mimic the effects of progesterone and estrogen, which are important hormone for normal reproductive and sexual response and function. Eating licorice might help you get in the mood for sex and stay that way more often. Licorice might also reduce PMS symptoms, which is a definite plus. Make sure to purchase a variety of licorice that contains actual licorice-root extract.

Asparagus

This healthy vegetable is loaded with vitamin B6 and folate, which can both increase arousal and orgasm. Asparagus also has vitamin E, which stimulates the sex hormones for women and men.

7 Types of Drugs That May Lower Your Sex Drive

7 Types of Drugs That May Lower Your Sex Drive

You’ve likely heard about drugs that can improve the sex drive, but there are actually some medications that can reduce it. Do you find that you’re less interested in sex than you would like to be? The issue might be in your medicine cabinet. Be sure to speak with your doctor about possible alternatives if you think medication may be to blame. Read on to learn about medications that have been known to reduce the libido.

Certain Antidepressants

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Zoloft and Prozac improve the mood by raising serotonin, but they can also kill your sex drive. Tricyclic antidepressants, such as Elavil, which are not used as often these days, can also decrease the libido. There are other options as far as antidepressants go, and your doctor may be able to make adjustments for you. Be sure to ask about your options.

Antihistamines

OTC antihistamines such as Benadryl (diphenhydramine) and Chlor-Trimeton (chlorpheniramine) can ease allergy symptoms, but also affect your sex drive temporarily. The solution may be to carefully time when you take these drugs. “Many of these drugs do not last 24 hours and certainly their side effects don’t,” says Allison Dering-Anderson, Pharm.D. “Antihistamines should be cleared in eight hours in younger and healthier patients.” Antihistamines are also frequently found in combination cough and cold medicines, so be sure to read the label carefully.

Birth Control Pills

Oral contraceptives may affect libido because they can lower levels of sex hormones, including testosterone. Speak with your doctor about alternatives if your sex drive is being negatively affected by the pill you’re taking.

Anti-Seizure Drugs

Drugs such as Tegretol that are used for people who have seizures and some people with Bipolar Disorder can reduce sexual desire. These types of drugs prevent impulses from traveling along the nerve cells, which is the issue when it comes to sex drive because an orgasm is similar to a seizure, so medications that dampen nerve impulses can also reduce sensations that bring pleasure.

Medical Marijuana

Marijuana is not approved for medical purposes in every state, but it can have a “significant negative impact both on libido and on ability to perform,” says Dering-Anderson.

Opioids
These can work wonders when it comes to pain relief, but can lower libido as well. Studies show that opioids such as Percocet, Vicodin, and OxyContin can lower testosterone levels, which affects the libido.

Beta Blockers 
Millions of Americans use beta blockers such as metoprolol and propranolol for their heart, but it doesn’t necessarily benefit their sex lives. Fortunately, there are a lot of beta blockers on the market, which lower blood pressure in different ways. Speak with your doctor about finding one that will work for you.