Steps for Introducing ‘Sexual Aids’ in Your Relationship

Steps for Introducing 'Sexual Aids' in Your Relationship

There are a lot of different ways for you and your partner to enhance sexual enjoyment. Some couples prefer to use what is often referred to as a “sexual aid”. Sure, sex toys such as dildos and vibrators probably come to mind, but the term includes a lot more than that. A sexual aid is anything that will either create or increase sexual stimulation or pleasure. This can mean special clothing, lubricants, sex toys, erotica, restraints for bondage, and more. Read on to learn how you can incorporate sexual aids into your sex life.

Choose What You Want
Be sure to take some time to consider what you want to add to the bedroom. Include your partner in the decision-making, especially if you’re going to be using it with them. Keep in mind that it’s OK to choose something that either of you are open to trying, but might not be sure about. You won’t know until you try.

Be Free of Expectations
You’ll only set yourself and your partner up for disappointment if you anticipate that adding something new to your sexual routine will have a certain result. Keep an open mind going into the experience.

Try it Out On Your Own
There are some exceptions, but most sexual aids can be used while you’re masturbating, so you can try them out on your own first. Trying it out yourself may increase your chances of success when you introduce it to your partner.

Find out the variety of things you can do with your sexual aid and be creative, using your entire body, if possible. Allow yourself plenty of time to discover a few ways to make use of your new toy or other aid.

Share your knowledge with your partner. If you want to incorporate this new sexual aid into sex, let you partner see how you’ve been using it to pleasure yourself. Invite your partner to explore on their own and then show you what they have learned.

Now is the time to try it out with your partner. Have fun playing and discovering ways you can use your new sexuall aid during sex. This might involve new activities or positions that you haven’t ever tried, depending on what you’re using.

Be sure to express how your prefer that the two of you use your sexual aid and encourage your partner to communicate this, as well. Enjoy!


8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

Maybe you have a good routine going on with your vibrator already. However, doing the same thing time and time again can get old. “It can become routine…and then monotony sets in,” says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D. This can also put you in danger of only being able to climax when you use a vibrator. Here are a few new ways to use your vibrator:

Avoid Your Clitoris…at First
At least do this at first. “Many women have discovered that they find indirect clitoral stimulation to the side or above the clitoris even more arousing,” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D. Run your vibrator up your labia and circle your clit without touching it. Then, when you can no longer take it, go for it.

Use it On Your Neck
Take advantage of the erogenous zone that is your neck. While you’re on your bed in a comfortable position, close your eyes and lightly rub the vibrator up and down one side of your neck before going to the other side. Once you’re turned on enough, work the vibrator more south.

Be a Tease
Let your partner take your vibrator and slowly run it up and down your thighs and coming close to the clitoris, yet not touching it.

Use it When He’s There
You can use your vibrator on yourself when your partner is there, too. While you’re making out, press your vibrator up against his perineum to get things started before using it on yourself. You may also want to have your guy use it on you while you get him off.

Hand it to Him
This is a little bit of light BDSM. Have your man tie you up loosely and let him use the vibe on you any way he pleases. “There’s something exciting about not having control,” says Laino.

Prop Yourself Up
While you’re lying down in bed, put some pillows underneath your butt to prop yourself up. Run your vibrator back and forth across your nipples while your guy is giving you oral sex.

A Different Kind of Doggy Style
While you’re lying flat on your stomach, slip a clitoral vibrator underneath you and have him penetrate you from behind. This doesn’t require much effort from you, so just lay there and enjoy it.

Get a Couples Vibrator
Purchase a couple’s vibrator so you can both be stimulated at once. “Couple-oriented penis rings are a great option to make sure you get this stimulation hands-free and he gets to enjoy the sensation as well,” says van Kirk.

5 Serious Reasons for an Overactive Sex Drive

5 Serious Reasons for an Overactive Sex Drive

Some people might consider the idea of an overactive sex drive to be exciting. But compulsive sexual behavior or addiction can have serious consequences that go far beyond threatening sexual health, including difficulties at work and in relationships, problems with the law, and low self esteem. The exact causes of an overactive sex drive are not known, but research shows that there may be links between hypersexuality and other physical and mental health issues. Read on to learn what conditions could possibly lead to an overactive sex drive.

Persistent genital arousal disorder.

Women who have this condition constantly feel aroused sexually and cannot get rid of these intense feelings—not even having an orgasm helps. These feelings can last for days or weeks and treatment often involves a combination of hormonal therapy, antidepressants, behavioral therapy, and anesthetizing gels.

Klüver-Bucy syndrome.

This is a rare neurobehavioral condition that stems from brain damage. The syndrome causes a group of unusual symptoms, including inappropriate sexual behavior, putting odd items in the mouth, and not expressing normal responses to fear and anger. Treatment involves therapy and medication, but there’s no cure.

Bipolar disorder.

This is a treatable mental illness that is marked by extremes in mood and energy, from the lows of depression to mania. Hypersexuality may be a symptom of a manic episode. Hypersexuality symptoms should be under control once the symptoms of the illness are treated effectively with medication and therapy.


It is very common for those with dementia to exhibit behaviors that are sexually inappropriate, according to a report in the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment. These behaviors include self-exposure, masturbation, propositioning others, and using obscenities. This acting out is more common in people with severe dementia. Some medications used to treat hypersexuality in people with dementia have shown mixed results. It’s important for caregivers to be educated about the disorder and realize it’s a symptom of an entire health problem.

Sexual addiction.

A person with this condition has an overactive sex drive and an obsession with sex. It might start out as an addiction to pornography, masturbation, or a relationship, only to progress to more dangerous behaviors such as public sex and prostitution.

Problems with sexual health may be more common than people want to admit. If you think that you have a sexual health issue, it’s worth finding the strength to seek treatment from a medical professional.


7 Ways to Have an Orgasm More Easily

7 Ways to Have an Orgasm More Easily

While having an orgasm shouldn’t be the only reason to have sex, for many it’s at the top of the list. Sometimes you’d rather just have your partner climax and aren’t as worried about yourself. Either way, the ability to have an orgasm is one of the most desired and misunderstood experiences that exist. Why? Because we tend to believe that an orgasm is all about the genitals when it actually has even more to do with the rest of the body, including the brain. Read on to learn what will move many people from being aroused to reaching an orgasm.

Hit the right spots.

You might be better able to have an orgasm during intercourse with a friction position. For example, get on top of your partner and make sure the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on the pubic bone of your partner. Alternately, lay on your back with a pillow under your butt.


“Men really want direction,” says Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. Let your partner know how they’re doing by telling them what feels amazing or by moaning.


You can’t communicate effectively in bed if you don’t know what turns you on. Train your body to be orgasmic by masturbating, according to Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach.

Do kegels.

Locate the muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Exercise and tone them by clenching when you’re not urinating. Do kegels each day, a few times a day, ideally. Don’t forget to breathe while you’re squeezing.

Delay pleasure.

“The longer the arousal build up, the bigger the explosion,” says sex educator Dorian Solot. As you get close to having an orgasm, slow down. Repeat this a few times before you climax.

Explore erotica.

Find some arousing and tasteful erotica to explore together. The more aroused you are, the greater your orgasm chances.


A recent study conducted in France of more than 500 women showed that more than 70 percent said stress at work compromised their sex drive. The chances of having an orgasm are obviously lower when your libido is low. Try your best to keep life’s distractions outside of the bedroom.


What You Need to Know about Masturbation

Woman lying on bed

Women masturbate.  It doesn’t matter what people think to the contrary, they do.  It’s not only gratifying, it also contributes to a more fulfilling sex life.  Knowing your body makes you feel more confident in bed.  There are some things that are less known about masturbation that are better off out in the open.

Those who have sex on a regular basis masturbate more often.

The more you have solo sex time, the more sex you seem to have than those who don’t masturbate as regularly.  It might seem more logical for the opposite to be true, but it’s not.

More women masturbate, but won’t admit they do.

The percentages that indicate this fact are outstanding.  People are even masturbating beginning in their teenage years.  Surveys indicate that before age 18, 80 percent of males have masturbated and 59 percent of females have pleasured themselves.

There’s not an age limit.

A Kinsey study found that more than half of those over 70 who were in a non-cohabitating relationship compared to 12.2 percent of married women masturbated.  And, about 30 percent of women between 60 and 69 who were in relationships had recently masturbated.

Some countries encourage daily masturbation for teenagers.

Outside of the US, that is.  The UK government joined other European countries to encourage teens to masturbate at least once daily, in 2009.  Health pamphlets read that masturbating is a right and it contributes to reducing teen pregnancy and STDs.

Masturbation wasn’t always so stigmatized.

For some today, masturbation will never be okay.  But, early Romans were very open about their sexuality.  A clay figurine showing a woman touching herself and loving it, existed as early as the 4th millennium BC.

It’s probably much clearer now that it’s not only okay to masturbate, but most people are doing it. That’s right:  young, old and in between.  Many women are keeping it a secret and attaching shame to a pleasurable, natural act.  There’s no need.  So, go masturbate!

Wonderful Health Benefits of Female Masturbation

Wonderful Health Benefits of Female Masturbation

Despite people’s reluctance to discuss masturbation, it is the most common form of sexuality.  Research shows that women who masturbate are more likely to be fulfilled in their sex lives, be healthier, have better marriages and are more confident in general.

Guilt and shame have been connected with masturbation for centuries.  Women have generally been socialized to believe that their desires and needs are less important than their partner’s.  Culturally, women feel that the urge to masturbate is wrong–they feel guilt because it’s “taboo”. But, in reality, women who masturbate experience many health benefits. Here are a few:

Physical Benefits

Helps relieve urinary tract infections and prevent cervical infections
Studies show that female masturbation can provide protection against cervical infections because the orgasm opens, or “tents”, the cervix.  Many women with a UTI have reported a desire to masturbate.  It makes sense because masturbating helps relieve pain and flushes out old bacteria from the cervix.

It’s connected with lowering the risk of type-2 diabetes and improved cardiovascular health
This has been shown in a number of studies with women who experienced experienced more orgasms, and generally greater frequency and satisfaction with sex (with or without a partner).

Helps fight insomnia through hormonal and tension release
It can be great for winding down after a stressful day or to fall asleep at night.  Why?  Because dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, is heightened when anticipating sexual climax.  After climaxing, calming hormones oxytocin and endorphins are released, which helps women sleep.

Increases pelvic floor strength
There are numerous benefits to having a healthy pelvic floor.  During the “plateau” stage of orgasm, the pelvic floor gets a serious workout!  The blood pressure in the clitoris and the muscle tone, heart rate and respirations are all increased.  The uterus “lifts” off the pelvic floor and increases pelvic muscle tension, which strengthens the entire area and a woman’s pleasure.

Emotional/Psychological Benefits

Relieves stress and improves mood
Stress related to not having sex can cause body imbalances.  Masturbation can help women make time for themselves. It helps relieve depressive emotions. Dopamine and epinephrine levels heighten. Both of these hormones are mood-boosters.

Strengthens the relationship with self
Loving, knowing and nurturing oneself on both physical and emotional levels helps one gain confidence and growth through self-awareness.  Knowing what brings pleasure and being able to articulate that is powerfully fulfilling.

Improves the sexual relationship with a partner
It can help meet personal sexual needs that aren’t met by a partner.  Couples have different sex drives and needs.  One can share masturbation with a partner. by witnessing a partner masturbating, one is taught what their partner enjoys–it opens the lines of communication.


How Hormones Drive Your Sex Life

How Hormones Drive Your Sex Life

Ever wonder if your hormones affect the way you think and feel about sex?

Remember your sexual encounters when you were much younger? Well, it wasn’t just inexperience that made your initial sexual encounters so different than your experiences now. Hormones are very closely linked to sexual behavior. As our hormones fluctuate with change, so do our sexual preferences and motivations.

Sexual health is influenced by testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, and vasopressin. In most mammals, sex hormones control ability to perform sexually. For humans, sex hormones are one contributor to sexual behavior. Lower levels of testosterone in men cause a decreased libido, just as lower levels of estrogen and progesterone decrease sexual drive in women.

Hormone levels can affect your sex drive in many ways, and sometimes merely as a side effect. For example, hormones potentially impact how you feel about yourself, your self-image, and your body. Research has repeatedly shown that a low self-image causes a decreased sex drive. Hormone levels not only affect your libido, but may actually affect performance by causing vaginal dryness or excess lubrication as well as elasticity.

For men, hormones are responsible for sperm volume and motility as well as sex drive. Interestingly, while testosterone is credited for a vigorous sex drive in men, increased levels of testosterone in women causes a decreased desire to engage in sexual activity with a partner. Research suggests that increased testosterone levels in women do however contribute to an increased desire to masturbate. Research is suggesting that when it comes to the bedroom, issues may not be as personal as they seem.

If you think that you or your partner may be suffering from imbalanced hormones, don’t let it affect your sexual health. Reach out to a professional today. Testing hormone levels is quick and easy, ensuring that you and your partner maintain the sexual experiences you both crave and enjoy.