Steps for Introducing ‘Sexual Aids’ in Your Relationship

Steps for Introducing 'Sexual Aids' in Your Relationship

There are a lot of different ways for you and your partner to enhance sexual enjoyment. Some couples prefer to use what is often referred to as a “sexual aid”. Sure, sex toys such as dildos and vibrators probably come to mind, but the term includes a lot more than that. A sexual aid is anything that will either create or increase sexual stimulation or pleasure. This can mean special clothing, lubricants, sex toys, erotica, restraints for bondage, and more. Read on to learn how you can incorporate sexual aids into your sex life.

Choose What You Want
Be sure to take some time to consider what you want to add to the bedroom. Include your partner in the decision-making, especially if you’re going to be using it with them. Keep in mind that it’s OK to choose something that either of you are open to trying, but might not be sure about. You won’t know until you try.

Be Free of Expectations
You’ll only set yourself and your partner up for disappointment if you anticipate that adding something new to your sexual routine will have a certain result. Keep an open mind going into the experience.

Try it Out On Your Own
There are some exceptions, but most sexual aids can be used while you’re masturbating, so you can try them out on your own first. Trying it out yourself may increase your chances of success when you introduce it to your partner.

Find out the variety of things you can do with your sexual aid and be creative, using your entire body, if possible. Allow yourself plenty of time to discover a few ways to make use of your new toy or other aid.

Share your knowledge with your partner. If you want to incorporate this new sexual aid into sex, let you partner see how you’ve been using it to pleasure yourself. Invite your partner to explore on their own and then show you what they have learned.

Now is the time to try it out with your partner. Have fun playing and discovering ways you can use your new sexuall aid during sex. This might involve new activities or positions that you haven’t ever tried, depending on what you’re using.

Be sure to express how your prefer that the two of you use your sexual aid and encourage your partner to communicate this, as well. Enjoy!


5 Online Dating Preparation Tips

5 Online Dating Preparation Tips

These days, online dating is the norm. Sometimes it takes a lot of online dates to find the right person, if that even happens. The online dating game is really about blind dates. How do you know how to protect yourself from the more unsavory characters? You want to keep from wasting time, so read on to learn some ways you can prepare for your first online date.

Be Cautious, but Still Open
Maybe their profile painted a picture of a person who was athletic and loves to volunteer. Maybe those are lies because people often lie to get what they want. Just be cautiously optimistic on your first online date and be sure to have your best friend on speed dial if needed.

Tell Others About Your Location
It’s important to take the necessary measures to be sure you’re safe on your date, especially when you’re meeting someone for the first time. Tell your friends where you’re going, and even tag your location on social media. Meet your blind date at that location and make sure it’s in public. You don’t want to let him pick you up on your first date because then he’ll know where you live. Be safe.

Be Realistic
You don’t need to have your guard completely up, or go the exact opposite route either. Be realistic. Understand that this date is an opportunity to get to know someone new, even if you don’t end up being in a relationship. Maybe it will give you some more insight into what you want out of a relationship, your deal-breakers, etc.

Have a Short Date During the Day
A first date will ideally run approximately one to two hours and not take place any later than mid-afternoon. Try to avoid dinner because it will take up your entire evening. If you do hit it off, you can head from a coffee shop to a new spot.

Don’t Bolt
Maybe you see the your date and you want to immediately head out the door. But don’t because it’s rude and your date is a human being. Try to stick it out for at least 45 minutes, so they feel as if you’ve given them a chance. Once you let them know there’s no chemistry on your end, you can get out of there and move on to the next date. It’s unnecessary to waste anybody’s time.


8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

8 New Ways to Have an Orgasm Using a Vibrator

Maybe you have a good routine going on with your vibrator already. However, doing the same thing time and time again can get old. “It can become routine…and then monotony sets in,” says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D. This can also put you in danger of only being able to climax when you use a vibrator. Here are a few new ways to use your vibrator:

Avoid Your Clitoris…at First
At least do this at first. “Many women have discovered that they find indirect clitoral stimulation to the side or above the clitoris even more arousing,” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D. Run your vibrator up your labia and circle your clit without touching it. Then, when you can no longer take it, go for it.

Use it On Your Neck
Take advantage of the erogenous zone that is your neck. While you’re on your bed in a comfortable position, close your eyes and lightly rub the vibrator up and down one side of your neck before going to the other side. Once you’re turned on enough, work the vibrator more south.

Be a Tease
Let your partner take your vibrator and slowly run it up and down your thighs and coming close to the clitoris, yet not touching it.

Use it When He’s There
You can use your vibrator on yourself when your partner is there, too. While you’re making out, press your vibrator up against his perineum to get things started before using it on yourself. You may also want to have your guy use it on you while you get him off.

Hand it to Him
This is a little bit of light BDSM. Have your man tie you up loosely and let him use the vibe on you any way he pleases. “There’s something exciting about not having control,” says Laino.

Prop Yourself Up
While you’re lying down in bed, put some pillows underneath your butt to prop yourself up. Run your vibrator back and forth across your nipples while your guy is giving you oral sex.

A Different Kind of Doggy Style
While you’re lying flat on your stomach, slip a clitoral vibrator underneath you and have him penetrate you from behind. This doesn’t require much effort from you, so just lay there and enjoy it.

Get a Couples Vibrator
Purchase a couple’s vibrator so you can both be stimulated at once. “Couple-oriented penis rings are a great option to make sure you get this stimulation hands-free and he gets to enjoy the sensation as well,” says van Kirk.

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger Than Average

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger than Average

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, just like many other body parts. Some women may consider an over-sized penis to be exciting, while others are intimidated, wondering how it will fit. Having sex with a penis that is above average (an average erect penis is 5.6 inches) can be painful for some, create stress and anxiety, and possibly cause vaginal tearing, according to certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. A vagina can usually accommodate a larger penis, but you have to be more careful. Here are some ways to proceed if your partner is large:

Acknowledge That It’s Big

You don’t have to make it a significant issue because your man might be embarrassed if he’s sensitive about his size, but being honest and upfront is a good idea. Acknowledge that his penis is large, suggest you take it slow, and then proceed.

Make Sure You Set the Pace

It’s not easy to know how your vagina is going to handle the size of his penis, so it’s necessary for you to set the pace. “Until you get used to the sensation and know how your body will respond to his larger penis, take it slow,” advises Van Kirk.

Use Enough Lubrication

The chances are good that you’ll need it, so be willing to have it on hand and apply more as needed. It’s better to use a thicker lube in this situation so that it won’t absorb as quickly.

Try Out Side-by-Side Sex

This can make it possible for you to help control the rhythm in this position and be able to hold his penis, insert it, and have control of it like a sex toy. So, if he’s getting a little too deep, you can increase the amount of length that you’re holding and less will be going into you.

Try Woman on Top

Any move that will allow you to take the lead and have him remain still are ideal, says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D.

Avoid Doing it Doggy Style

If he has a penis that is long, positions such as doggy style can lead to deeper penetration. This deep penetration can cause his penis to hit your cervix, which may not feel great for you (it does for some women). If you’re into doing it from behind, try the reverse cowgirl position instead, so you still have control of the rhythm.

Have Realistic Expectations

The chances are good that you assume having sex with a large guy will lead to outstanding orgasms, but that’s not necessarily true. “Sometimes men with big penises think that’s all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn’t guarantee more orgasms,” says Kerner.


6 Things to Do When You’re Not Getting the Sex You Want

6 Things to Do When You're Not Getting the Sex You Want

Sometimes sex and passion become less intense and frequent as a relationship progresses. It’s normal. But it’s possible to keep things more passionate if you’re not getting the sex you want. Both you and your partner deserve to have your needs met. Here are some tips you can follow to be well on your way to more sexual fulfillment:

Carve Out the Time

It’s important to make time to be intimate with your partner to give the libido a chance to show up. Perhaps you might want to speak with your partner about attempting to make time once a week to be intimate. This doesn’t just mean sex, but to massage each other, talk, cuddle, and more. Request that they make the time to relax with you, allowing themselves to become interested in sex.

Get a Medical Check-up

A variety of medical issues and medications can affect the sex drive, so it’s important to rule any of that out.

No Pressure

If you and your partner are constantly worried about sex, it will make the situation feel even worse. Attempt to take it in stride.

Find Out What’s Distracting You

Maybe it’s a new job that is overwhelming — it’s common. Or, perhaps your partner is trying to catch up on the things they neglected when you two were in your honeymoon phase. Maybe one of you feels that your relationship is stable enough and intimacy doesn’t need to be worked on as much as things such as income.

Discuss Your Expectations

Be honest with your partner while having a discussion about your sexual expectations. You may find it helpful to write it all down to keep the message from getting lost in emotion if you find the two of you have different expectations.

Define Your Relationship, if You Haven’t

For example, are you monogamous, do you want this to last a long time, or are you trying to keep it casual? Your partner may think this amount of sex is enough for you if you haven’t actually had a discussion about what you’re both looking for in a relationship. You deserve the kind of relationship you want and sex life, too, so you’ll want to make sure you’re on the same page as your partner.


Facts You’ll Love about the Female Condom

Facts You'll Love about the Female Condom

Female condoms are not as widely used or as well known as they should be.  It’s as if they’re a secret when they’ve actually been around for a couple of decades.  The chances are, the idea of being able to have your own form of contraception and not feel as if you have to rely on a male to use a condom is appealing.  The following are some facts about the female condom you’ll feel better knowing.

It’s a unique and powerful form of contraception for women.
The female condom is great because a woman is not only able to initiate protection with it (as she can with other forms of birth control), but she can also know that it’s the only method she can initiate use of with dual protection (from STIs and pregnancy).

Men often prefer a female condom.
Research has shown that men enjoy female condoms because they do not fit tightly on their penis and don’t seem to dull sensation like male condoms do.  Men also tend to appreciate the fact that they don’t have to be the only one ever responsible for wearing a condom.

Female condoms can make sex feel better.
It’s quite a juicy secret that female condoms have been known to increase pleasure during sex.  It can be in place before intercourse occurs and not halt the moment in any way.  Female condoms don’t have to be removed right after sex, so it’s possible to add more quality time in bed without worry.  And, as an added bonus, some female condoms are made with materials that transmit heat, so it feels even more natural than latex.

There are many types out there.
You can have your pick with female condoms.  The one most known is the FC2®, which is available worldwide.  There are female condoms being developed that will reduce costs and will be more accepted in general.  For example, a new one is being developed to be comfortable to both partners and easy to use.  There are female condoms that are latex-free and all of them are hormone-free.

It means less people are having unprotected sex.
Studies have shown that more people are having protected sex when female condoms are available.  It’s important to know not to use a female and male condom at the same time because the friction of the two together can cause one or both of them to break.

Contraception Misconceptions

Contraception Misconceptions

Becoming pregnant unintentionally can cause an extreme amount of stress, and can affect emotional and physical health. There’s a tremendous amount of misinformation out there about birth control. Read on for some of the most common myths about contraception.

I won’t be able to feel pleasure nearly as much if I use a condom.
This is a very popular myth and even those who rank high in the area of sex education tend to fall for it. It’s simply untrue.  One study showed that men felt the same amount of ease where orgasms and erections were concerned, with or without the use of a condom.

The pull-out method is just fine. I won’t get pregnant that way!
It’s very possible to get pregnant, even when the male pulls out before ejaculation.  Why?  Because ejaculate that contains sperm can make its way out before a man has an orgasm…which can lead to pregnancy.

There aren’t any female condoms available.
This might be what many believe, but it’s untrue.  Yes, most marketing is targeted towards men, advertising male condoms, but female condoms are also available.  These condoms have two rings at each end and are inserted into a female’s vagina.

Taking emergency contraceptives will allow me to have unprotected sex in the next 72 hours.
This is not true.  If you take an emergency contraceptive pill you can greatly lower your chance of pregnancy if you take it within 72 hours after sex.  One pill works for one session.

Using two condoms is better than one.
It’s actually less safe to use two condoms, as the friction created by having two can cause them to tear each one apart more easily and break the condoms.

Condoms can be reused if I wash them thoroughly.
Condoms are only meant to be used once.  It doesn’t matter how much you wash one, it’s not reusable. If you absolutely have no access to a new condom, refrain from engaging in sexual intercourse until you can get a new condom.  There are ways to have sex that use body parts other than the penis, so try some of those out.