Steps for Introducing ‘Sexual Aids’ in Your Relationship

Steps for Introducing 'Sexual Aids' in Your Relationship

There are a lot of different ways for you and your partner to enhance sexual enjoyment. Some couples prefer to use what is often referred to as a “sexual aid”. Sure, sex toys such as dildos and vibrators probably come to mind, but the term includes a lot more than that. A sexual aid is anything that will either create or increase sexual stimulation or pleasure. This can mean special clothing, lubricants, sex toys, erotica, restraints for bondage, and more. Read on to learn how you can incorporate sexual aids into your sex life.

Choose What You Want
Be sure to take some time to consider what you want to add to the bedroom. Include your partner in the decision-making, especially if you’re going to be using it with them. Keep in mind that it’s OK to choose something that either of you are open to trying, but might not be sure about. You won’t know until you try.

Be Free of Expectations
You’ll only set yourself and your partner up for disappointment if you anticipate that adding something new to your sexual routine will have a certain result. Keep an open mind going into the experience.

Try it Out On Your Own
There are some exceptions, but most sexual aids can be used while you’re masturbating, so you can try them out on your own first. Trying it out yourself may increase your chances of success when you introduce it to your partner.

Experiment
Find out the variety of things you can do with your sexual aid and be creative, using your entire body, if possible. Allow yourself plenty of time to discover a few ways to make use of your new toy or other aid.

Share
Share your knowledge with your partner. If you want to incorporate this new sexual aid into sex, let you partner see how you’ve been using it to pleasure yourself. Invite your partner to explore on their own and then show you what they have learned.

Explore
Now is the time to try it out with your partner. Have fun playing and discovering ways you can use your new sexuall aid during sex. This might involve new activities or positions that you haven’t ever tried, depending on what you’re using.

Communicate
Be sure to express how your prefer that the two of you use your sexual aid and encourage your partner to communicate this, as well. Enjoy!

 

6 Things Only Someone Coping with Infertility Understands

6 Things Only Someone Coping with Infertility Understands

Did you know that one in eight couples have trouble conceiving? That means you’re not alone if you have been having infertility problems. Read on to learn what only someone with infertility issues will understand:

It Can Be Very Expensive

Infertility procedures and medications are very expensive. On average, each attempt for in vitro fertilization (IVF) is $11,000 or more. Only a minority of people have health insurance that helps with those costs.

It’s Normal to be Disappointed Each Month

IVF is the most successful and drastic fertility procedure, but it is not a guarantee at all. The CDC compiles rates of success from nationwide fertility centers into one report each year and the latest one shows that 40 percent of IVF attempts in those under the age of 35 who use their own fresh embryos resulted in a birth. But that outcome becomes as low as 11 percent in 41 and 42 year olds.

Timing is Everything

Just missing a dose of fertility medication or taking them at the wrong time can be a disaster. Timing is everything. If you go against the medication schedule your doctor gave you — in the case of IVF — your eggs may not be ready to be retrieved or you might not have your intrauterine insemination during the time where it would be most successful.

It Can be an Emotional Roller Coaster

Usually women with infertility begin taking medications a few days after the start of their periods…and then they wait. “For the next 4 weeks you get your hopes up, you dream, you wish, you tell yourself, ‘It’s going to happen this month,’ and then when the stick says you’re not pregnant or the doctor tells you your embryo didn’t take, it’s soul-crushing,” says Laura Saltman, a woman who has been going through fertility treatments for three years.

It’s Painful

The medications have significant side effects that cause pain, inside and out. It can feel like the worst PMS experience combined with the amount of pain you typically feel on the first day of your period.

It’s Difficult to Hear Friends’ Pregnancy Announcements

“You want to be truly excited for them, but deep down it makes you hurt more for yourself,” says Monica Higgins, who underwent fertility treatments on and off for three years. Be careful not to judge a friend if she is not as enthusiastic about your pregnancy as you hoped she’d be. Give them some space and then attention if she does become pregnant.

 

5 Online Dating Preparation Tips

5 Online Dating Preparation Tips

These days, online dating is the norm. Sometimes it takes a lot of online dates to find the right person, if that even happens. The online dating game is really about blind dates. How do you know how to protect yourself from the more unsavory characters? You want to keep from wasting time, so read on to learn some ways you can prepare for your first online date.

Be Cautious, but Still Open
Maybe their profile painted a picture of a person who was athletic and loves to volunteer. Maybe those are lies because people often lie to get what they want. Just be cautiously optimistic on your first online date and be sure to have your best friend on speed dial if needed.

Tell Others About Your Location
It’s important to take the necessary measures to be sure you’re safe on your date, especially when you’re meeting someone for the first time. Tell your friends where you’re going, and even tag your location on social media. Meet your blind date at that location and make sure it’s in public. You don’t want to let him pick you up on your first date because then he’ll know where you live. Be safe.

Be Realistic
You don’t need to have your guard completely up, or go the exact opposite route either. Be realistic. Understand that this date is an opportunity to get to know someone new, even if you don’t end up being in a relationship. Maybe it will give you some more insight into what you want out of a relationship, your deal-breakers, etc.

Have a Short Date During the Day
A first date will ideally run approximately one to two hours and not take place any later than mid-afternoon. Try to avoid dinner because it will take up your entire evening. If you do hit it off, you can head from a coffee shop to a new spot.

Don’t Bolt
Maybe you see the your date and you want to immediately head out the door. But don’t because it’s rude and your date is a human being. Try to stick it out for at least 45 minutes, so they feel as if you’ve given them a chance. Once you let them know there’s no chemistry on your end, you can get out of there and move on to the next date. It’s unnecessary to waste anybody’s time.

 

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger Than Average

7 Tips on Having Sex When His Penis Is Larger than Average

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, just like many other body parts. Some women may consider an over-sized penis to be exciting, while others are intimidated, wondering how it will fit. Having sex with a penis that is above average (an average erect penis is 5.6 inches) can be painful for some, create stress and anxiety, and possibly cause vaginal tearing, according to certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. A vagina can usually accommodate a larger penis, but you have to be more careful. Here are some ways to proceed if your partner is large:

Acknowledge That It’s Big

You don’t have to make it a significant issue because your man might be embarrassed if he’s sensitive about his size, but being honest and upfront is a good idea. Acknowledge that his penis is large, suggest you take it slow, and then proceed.

Make Sure You Set the Pace

It’s not easy to know how your vagina is going to handle the size of his penis, so it’s necessary for you to set the pace. “Until you get used to the sensation and know how your body will respond to his larger penis, take it slow,” advises Van Kirk.

Use Enough Lubrication

The chances are good that you’ll need it, so be willing to have it on hand and apply more as needed. It’s better to use a thicker lube in this situation so that it won’t absorb as quickly.

Try Out Side-by-Side Sex

This can make it possible for you to help control the rhythm in this position and be able to hold his penis, insert it, and have control of it like a sex toy. So, if he’s getting a little too deep, you can increase the amount of length that you’re holding and less will be going into you.

Try Woman on Top

Any move that will allow you to take the lead and have him remain still are ideal, says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D.

Avoid Doing it Doggy Style

If he has a penis that is long, positions such as doggy style can lead to deeper penetration. This deep penetration can cause his penis to hit your cervix, which may not feel great for you (it does for some women). If you’re into doing it from behind, try the reverse cowgirl position instead, so you still have control of the rhythm.

Have Realistic Expectations

The chances are good that you assume having sex with a large guy will lead to outstanding orgasms, but that’s not necessarily true. “Sometimes men with big penises think that’s all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn’t guarantee more orgasms,” says Kerner.

 

6 Foods to Boost Your Libido

6 Foods to Boost Your Libido

If you’re looking to have a romantic dinner with your partner, you may want to consider more than just soft music and lighting. There are actually some healthy foods that affect brain chemistry, hormone levels, and energy, which increases sex drive and arousal. Read on to learn about some foods you’ll want to add to your grocery list.

Chocolate

This might not come as a surprise to you. Chocolate has been linked with sex and love for a long time because it contains tryptophan. Tryptophan helps the body make serotonin, which is a natural feel-good chemical that might play a part in sexual arousal. This sweet also has some phenylethylamine, which is a stimulant that is thought to contribute to feelings of love.

Chile Peppers

These peppers can spice up more than just your meal. This is due to capsaicin, which is a chemical that has been shown to induce endorphin release in the brain, creating euphoric feelings.

Avocados

Avocados can give you both a healthy libido and energy, which are necessary for great sex. They are packed with monounsaturated fats (good fats), minerals, and vitamin B6, which all help keep your libido and energy up. Avocados are also a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are natural mood-boosters.

Oysters

It’s not the taste or slippery texture that make oysters a sexy food — it’s their zinc content. They’re loaded with the mineral, which helps the body make testosterone. Testosterone is necessary for regulating the sexual function and libido of both men and women. Zinc may help a woman’s ovaries stay healthy and help her stay ready for action in the bedroom.

Licorice

This sweet candy is thought to mimic the effects of progesterone and estrogen, which are important hormone for normal reproductive and sexual response and function. Eating licorice might help you get in the mood for sex and stay that way more often. Licorice might also reduce PMS symptoms, which is a definite plus. Make sure to purchase a variety of licorice that contains actual licorice-root extract.

Asparagus

This healthy vegetable is loaded with vitamin B6 and folate, which can both increase arousal and orgasm. Asparagus also has vitamin E, which stimulates the sex hormones for women and men.

7 Types of Drugs That May Lower Your Sex Drive

7 Types of Drugs That May Lower Your Sex Drive

You’ve likely heard about drugs that can improve the sex drive, but there are actually some medications that can reduce it. Do you find that you’re less interested in sex than you would like to be? The issue might be in your medicine cabinet. Be sure to speak with your doctor about possible alternatives if you think medication may be to blame. Read on to learn about medications that have been known to reduce the libido.

Certain Antidepressants

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Zoloft and Prozac improve the mood by raising serotonin, but they can also kill your sex drive. Tricyclic antidepressants, such as Elavil, which are not used as often these days, can also decrease the libido. There are other options as far as antidepressants go, and your doctor may be able to make adjustments for you. Be sure to ask about your options.

Antihistamines

OTC antihistamines such as Benadryl (diphenhydramine) and Chlor-Trimeton (chlorpheniramine) can ease allergy symptoms, but also affect your sex drive temporarily. The solution may be to carefully time when you take these drugs. “Many of these drugs do not last 24 hours and certainly their side effects don’t,” says Allison Dering-Anderson, Pharm.D. “Antihistamines should be cleared in eight hours in younger and healthier patients.” Antihistamines are also frequently found in combination cough and cold medicines, so be sure to read the label carefully.

Birth Control Pills

Oral contraceptives may affect libido because they can lower levels of sex hormones, including testosterone. Speak with your doctor about alternatives if your sex drive is being negatively affected by the pill you’re taking.

Anti-Seizure Drugs

Drugs such as Tegretol that are used for people who have seizures and some people with Bipolar Disorder can reduce sexual desire. These types of drugs prevent impulses from traveling along the nerve cells, which is the issue when it comes to sex drive because an orgasm is similar to a seizure, so medications that dampen nerve impulses can also reduce sensations that bring pleasure.

Medical Marijuana

Marijuana is not approved for medical purposes in every state, but it can have a “significant negative impact both on libido and on ability to perform,” says Dering-Anderson.

Opioids
These can work wonders when it comes to pain relief, but can lower libido as well. Studies show that opioids such as Percocet, Vicodin, and OxyContin can lower testosterone levels, which affects the libido.

Beta Blockers 
Millions of Americans use beta blockers such as metoprolol and propranolol for their heart, but it doesn’t necessarily benefit their sex lives. Fortunately, there are a lot of beta blockers on the market, which lower blood pressure in different ways. Speak with your doctor about finding one that will work for you.

 

6 Things to Do When You’re Not Getting the Sex You Want

6 Things to Do When You're Not Getting the Sex You Want

Sometimes sex and passion become less intense and frequent as a relationship progresses. It’s normal. But it’s possible to keep things more passionate if you’re not getting the sex you want. Both you and your partner deserve to have your needs met. Here are some tips you can follow to be well on your way to more sexual fulfillment:

Carve Out the Time

It’s important to make time to be intimate with your partner to give the libido a chance to show up. Perhaps you might want to speak with your partner about attempting to make time once a week to be intimate. This doesn’t just mean sex, but to massage each other, talk, cuddle, and more. Request that they make the time to relax with you, allowing themselves to become interested in sex.

Get a Medical Check-up

A variety of medical issues and medications can affect the sex drive, so it’s important to rule any of that out.

No Pressure

If you and your partner are constantly worried about sex, it will make the situation feel even worse. Attempt to take it in stride.

Find Out What’s Distracting You

Maybe it’s a new job that is overwhelming — it’s common. Or, perhaps your partner is trying to catch up on the things they neglected when you two were in your honeymoon phase. Maybe one of you feels that your relationship is stable enough and intimacy doesn’t need to be worked on as much as things such as income.

Discuss Your Expectations

Be honest with your partner while having a discussion about your sexual expectations. You may find it helpful to write it all down to keep the message from getting lost in emotion if you find the two of you have different expectations.

Define Your Relationship, if You Haven’t

For example, are you monogamous, do you want this to last a long time, or are you trying to keep it casual? Your partner may think this amount of sex is enough for you if you haven’t actually had a discussion about what you’re both looking for in a relationship. You deserve the kind of relationship you want and sex life, too, so you’ll want to make sure you’re on the same page as your partner.