Steps for Introducing ‘Sexual Aids’ in Your Relationship

Steps for Introducing 'Sexual Aids' in Your Relationship

There are a lot of different ways for you and your partner to enhance sexual enjoyment. Some couples prefer to use what is often referred to as a “sexual aid”. Sure, sex toys such as dildos and vibrators probably come to mind, but the term includes a lot more than that. A sexual aid is anything that will either create or increase sexual stimulation or pleasure. This can mean special clothing, lubricants, sex toys, erotica, restraints for bondage, and more. Read on to learn how you can incorporate sexual aids into your sex life.

Choose What You Want
Be sure to take some time to consider what you want to add to the bedroom. Include your partner in the decision-making, especially if you’re going to be using it with them. Keep in mind that it’s OK to choose something that either of you are open to trying, but might not be sure about. You won’t know until you try.

Be Free of Expectations
You’ll only set yourself and your partner up for disappointment if you anticipate that adding something new to your sexual routine will have a certain result. Keep an open mind going into the experience.

Try it Out On Your Own
There are some exceptions, but most sexual aids can be used while you’re masturbating, so you can try them out on your own first. Trying it out yourself may increase your chances of success when you introduce it to your partner.

Find out the variety of things you can do with your sexual aid and be creative, using your entire body, if possible. Allow yourself plenty of time to discover a few ways to make use of your new toy or other aid.

Share your knowledge with your partner. If you want to incorporate this new sexual aid into sex, let you partner see how you’ve been using it to pleasure yourself. Invite your partner to explore on their own and then show you what they have learned.

Now is the time to try it out with your partner. Have fun playing and discovering ways you can use your new sexuall aid during sex. This might involve new activities or positions that you haven’t ever tried, depending on what you’re using.

Be sure to express how your prefer that the two of you use your sexual aid and encourage your partner to communicate this, as well. Enjoy!


Are You Looking for Your G-spot?

Are You Looking for Your G-spot?

Are you looking for your G-spot? Of course you are!

If not right this minute, perhaps recently. It’s a common concern and there are step-by-step instructions to help you get there. Many of us are happy to have a ‘normal’ orgasm, but have heard there’s more. That’s where the fabled G-spot enters the picture. Doctors and researchers have agreed that a G-spot (or, a urethral sponge) exists. Like many parts of the body, it’s filled with blood vessels and nerve endings. What they don’t agree on is whether or not the G-spot represents the orgasm of all orgasms. It won’t matter what they say after you’ve discovered the truth. To get there, you have to find it!

“We know something is there − way too many women have had pleasure by stimulating…that area of the vagina,” says Amy Levine, certified sexual educator and founder of “We also know some women ejaculate when there’s pressure applied to the same area.”

Women have vaginas and vulvas that are different.  The extra sensitive nerve endings may be in different locations.  This explains why some women respond positively to certain sexual positions or techniques and others don’t.  The G-spot might be more of a difficult-to-pinpoint zone, and less of an actual spot.

Here are some steps you can take to find your G-spot (after you’re aroused and fully lubricated):

  1. Insert your finger (or your partner’s) in your vagina.
  2. Run your finger along the top wall of your vagina and search for a spot that feels different. It might even feel more pleasurable when you touch that area.
  3. If you find that unique place, stimulate the area as if you’re telling it to “come here”.

The G-spot is often about half way between the vaginal opening and the cervix.  If you don’t think yours is there, try moving closer to either the vaginal opening or the cervix.  One might try finding their G-spot during intercourse.  This can happen when the woman is on top, giving her more freedom to find the right angle.  She can also allow her partner to enter from the rear (or, “doggie-style”), especially with her body angled downward.  While in a missionary position, a woman can squeeze her pelvic floor muscles around her partner’s penis, which also arouses him.  He might angle his body up slightly in order to align pelvic bones and direct his penis to the right in order to stimulate the G-spot.

Sex toys are also a great way to search for the G-spot, and are often designed for that!  So many are looking for or have found the G-spot and others have made products to help you find your way!  While looking for your G-spot can include a lot of fun, don’t get too hung up on the outcome.  Orgasms are subjective experiences– enjoy every moment with your partner and perhaps appreciate even more pleasure once you find that special spot!